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I Ramble On About Desire and Old Injuries

     The only way to consume less is to desire less. To desire less, one must understand that what one has is all that one needs, unless it stops working. Then you may need to replace the one-of-stuff that you cannot use any longer. 
     What I want no one can buy. 
     The only thing that I want are ideas for writing. I have them, too, but I do not harness them as I should. I suffered an injury that has prevented me from going too deep into Thought-Space to experience the ideas that I want to use. 
     The injury was self-inflicted. I did this to myself. I'm the victim and the criminal. 
     I hurt myself so that my family could survive. If I kept going the way I did, we would be poor and starving, or maybe I would have broken through to the successful side of life in which I made things up for a living. HAHAHA! 
     You can’t know the multiverse, the many branchings that flow out of the nexus of striving ideas and actions taken/not taken. The binary of the decision to act/not act is a sacred mystery that you don’t have the chops to follow through on both lines of action. For you there is only now. 
     Now. More now. 
     But that was then, and this is another now that will become a then. Ride the tiger! 
     You thought that the magic was outside of you, until you went inside and broke it. You broke it well. Never say that you have not had successes. 
     But the healing has begun. I can see the places I used to see that were barred before. I am almost healed. It takes time to heal and it feels like it goes so slowly, but it heals at its own pace. 
     Of course, I'm going to start before I'm ready.

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